I Never Said I Was Brave
by absentlovers
Summary: Another Jean/Marco Modern!AU. When prom rolls along, so do a bunch of memories. Marco's gonna have a hard time seeing Jean in love with someone else. A series of drabbles describing Marco's unrequited love for Jean throughout the years.


A/N: Based on the prompt my friend gave me (check her out, her username is Dilloria Jaeger). Anyway, this is the first fic I'm ever publishing. All of these drabbles are 200 words and under and geez that was challenging to do. All of this is Marco's POV! Have fun reading!

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"I'll sing in silence, lay beside you  
With my face there on your cheek  
My stomach swears there's comfort there  
In the warmth of the blankets on your bed  
My stomach's always been a liar-  
I'll believe it's lies again."

I Never Said I Was Brave, MeWithoutYou

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**3 Hours Before**

You were looking at yourself in the mirror, straightening the suit you borrowed from your dad. I told you that you looked fine, Mikasa wouldn't care if you looked stupid, but you shrugged me off. After that, I heard a honk coming from outside my house and saw Sasha's body hanging out the car window. They were yelling at us to hurry up, so you messed with your hair one more time before running out the door. I followed suit, locking the door behind me first and got into the car. Annie and Mikasa were already there squished in the back. You hopped in first and kissed Mikasa on the cheek before giving her a corsage.

"Haha, you're dumb Jean. No girls actually want stuff like that anymore!" Connie yelled. He drove right on ahead and while I was putting on my seatbelt. I could hear a small, "Thank you," coming from Mikasa. Annie stared at me and shrugged before looking outside the window again.

Prom was supposed to be the best night of your life. Or at least high school.

It wasn't like that for me.

**7 Years Before**

We gave each other our first kiss in the 5th grade. It was really wet and awkward and we didn't know what we were doing.

When you came over that day, you complained about your sister being "gross" with her boyfriend again.

"What's the big deal about kissing anyway? It's disgusting," you said, arms crossed on my bed. I was putting away the comics you borrowed that day when a stupid idea popped up in my head.

"Maybe it's not so gross." I said, sitting down next to you. "If people like it so much, we should try it out. I mean, just to see if kissing's all that great."

"But do boys kiss each other?"

"I think so. Ymir and Christa are both girls and they kiss each other on the cheek lots of times."

"Oh, okay."

Then, we stared at each other for a long time. No one wanted to go in for the kiss first, but when it happened, my stomach felt weird, good weird. And it was still a pretty bad kiss then, but afterwards, the feeling in my stomach never went away.

**2 Weeks Before**

"So, maybe, you wanted to go to prom with me..."

"Of course I'm going to prom with you. We aren't dating for shits and giggles."

A smile spilled across your face as you proceeded to tackle Mikasa with kisses. To think, the 5th grade you would vomit if he ever saw this. Annie looked away; she seemed to have the baby Jean syndrome in there.

I rested my head on my hand waiting for lunch to end.

"Hey, Annie." I glanced her way and nudged her knee with mine.

"Mmm?"

"Wanna go to prom with me?"

Her eyes grew wide after I asked, and I think I caused her to blush, if only for a few seconds.

"Yeah. I'll go with you," she answered. "I-I gotta throw my food away." She grabbed the apple off of the table and ran outside the Cafeteria. I sighed as she ran off and looked in front of me. Mikasa clapped her hands softly, clearly impressed, while you just stared at where she last sat.

"I can't believe Annie said yes to that," you whispered.

I had to wonder. Did I make you jealous, Jean? 'Cause I really hope I did.

**2 Years Before**

I woke up from this really awful nightmare about shadows and spirits and I really didn't want to be alone. I left the bottom bunk and made my way up to you.

"Jean?" I whispered. "Can I stay up here?" You turned and grunted, mumbling about me going to sleep. I took that as a yes and snuggled in, making sure things weren't awkward. There were butterflies in my stomach again as our backs touched.

I was more afraid of sleep than I thought. I kept waiting for the clock to go past 4:00; that was considered morning somewhere. I stayed in the same position, but you tossed and turned a lot more than I thought you did. What _were_ you dreaming about? When you stopped for a while, I decided to turn, and trust me, making that decision was a lot harder than you think.

You look cute when you sleep, Jean. I couldn't help myself. I thought back to our first kiss, and gave you a small one your nose.

"I love you, Jean."

When I woke up the next morning, you were smiling with your hands around me.

**1 Month Before**

"I am telling you, love is such a bullshit emotion. Don't ever fall in love with someone, dude. Straight to heartbreak for anyone."

After every fight you and Mikasa had, it always ended up with me and you playing League of Legends and a 5 hour long Skype call.

"I can relate," I replied, concentrated more on destroying turret than the actual conversation.

"Really? Who's the lucky girl? Annie?"

"No, someone more obvious."

"Let me guess, it's me isn't it?"

I tensed up when you said that. Right after you said it though, you laughed really hard and continued, "I'm kidding. But seriously, tell me."

I got killed right after and waited to respawn. "I'll let you know if we win this game, okay?"

You agreed and did your best to win, but I didn't and we lost. You forgot about it after I left for the bathroom and for that, I am thankful.

**30 Minutes Before**

Everything happened really fast.

"Fuck off, Jean!"

"Screw you, Jaeger!"

"Will the both of you please stop it?!"

You grabbed my hand and ran for, what I assumed, was home.

"Wait, Jean! Annie is still – "

"Annie's gonna be fine!"

We ran until we reached your house, panting as we made it up the stairs, when you finally reached your room and fell on the bed. I stared at you, feeling as sorry as I possibly could.

I sat down next to you. You weren't crying or angry, you just lay there waiting.

"She didn't really love me, huh?" You asked.

"I think she did," I answered. "People make mistakes."

Your hand was still trembling in mine. I squeezed it hoping for comfort.

**10 Months Before**

The day you asked out Mikasa was the day you and Eren stopped being friends. It was obvious he liked her, and even though it started out as a joke, I knew you liked her too. Every time you talked about how beautiful she was, how she could kick ass, all her little perfections, I felt scissors cutting the wings of the butterflies in my stomach. It hurt. It hurt because I wish it was me you were talking about.

And god, I'm so selfish. I still wish it was me.

**Now**

It's exactly like that night, Sophomore year, the first time I told you, "I love you". We're half-naked and I'm still trying to fall asleep here. I felt your chest go up and down, breathing slowly. The clock on your nightstand read 1:43.

I know you aren't awake and I have no idea why I'm running through all these memories here and now, especially if I'm not sharing them with you. As peaceful as it was now, I didn't want it to last. Silence is loud.

I shook you until you woke up, and you cursed at me for doing so.

"Remember when you wanted to know who I was in love with?"

"You're telling me this now?!"

"Do you want to know or not?"

"Sure."

"I – " My stomach felt like it was shot again. Was I really doing this? "N-no one. I don't like anyone."

"Really fucking amazing, Marco."

I never said I was brave enough to tell you. You assumed I was.

I don't think I'll ever be.

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A/N: Thanks for reading! It took a while to actually write this one up and I like how it turned out. I may or may not write this again, except in Jean's POV, so let's just wait and see what happens, yeah? Review if you liked it, and all that other stuff people usually put in here.

**UPDATE: **I'm moving to AO3 soon, so this is going to be reposted on there as well as the possible (multi-chapter) Jean POV! The link is on my profile, so if you guys liked it, be sure to check it out on AO3 as well.


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